On Being Used

I am tired of being needed. Only.

Not missed. Not cared for.

I can only give so much advice. It's not every day that I will listen to people's dramas and rants. It's not every moment that my chat button is active. I do not live to grant favors. I am definitely not a fairy godmother. I am tired of being needed.

Months ago, you were on the telephone narrating your heartbreak. And I listened. Though I didn't have much to say, but I listened. I thought to myself that's what friends are supposed to do. To be there. To console. To cheer friends up. To listen. To be a friend.

But I realized sometimes people need you damagingly. It has become toxic. They continue to ask from you, they continue to demand, they continue to take. And it is tiring. I am tired already. When you needing me borders to  me losing my self-worth bit by bit, that's when I draw the line. When you needing me means I'll be your helpline waiting for your SOS call every time, that's when I say stop. I remember how you flood me with messages when you're in distress, when you're broken, when you're alone, when you want something. And looking back at my old pathetic self, I ask you, does my name only pop on your head when the rest of your squad is nowhere for you? When there's something you need from me? Is it that convenient for you that I am that "always available" friend? Just wow.

You're a piece of crap. User. At least I've come to know your true colors, only that it COST me so much.

Good riddance to you, I guess. Those times you needed me, I was wrong. I wasn't needed. I was used.

Adios.

-tups