I f I go home and bump into you
If I go
home and bump into you, stare at my eyes and say that you miss me badly; that
letting me go was a wrong choice. Talk in my eyes as I slowly weep for a love
that was once lost, and now has been found again.
If I go
home and bump into you, grab me in my waist and lift me in the air. Spank me on my butt for being such a spoiled
brat that I am who left the town just to in spite someone who has severely
bruised her ego. After you lift me up, put my feet back in the ground and tell
me that this is not a dream
If I go
home and bump into you, take my luggage and hold my hands instead. Smile your
sweetest smile as if trying to charm your high school crush. Tell me that you
like my new hairdo. Ask me if I’m still as crazy as I used to be. Crack a joke
or two to test if my old humor is still there, to see if my old self is still
in me.
If I go
home and bump into you, inquire as to what my life has been like for the past
years. Be enthusiastic as I share stories of my experiences and endeavors.
Congratulate me for finishing my master’s. Tell me in my eyes that you never
stopped reading my poems and that you await for the day that I’ll post
something about you, something about still caring for a man I have met in my
old hometown.
If I go
home and bump into you, take me to the refreshment store in town where we first
and last ate together. Acquaint me to the new look of the store and be ecstatic
as you go down memory lane of how we met, how we used to flirt a little, how we
ended up apart and broken. Say sorry for trying to dump me off for the silliest
and dumbest reason – that you don’t fit into my world when you didn’t even try
to.
If I go
home and bump into you, sing the song you used to sing to me as we talk in the
phone during the wee hours of the morning. Convince me that your voice has
improved somehow. Ask my new favourite song and sing it to me with all your
might. Make me smile and laugh so hard. Then stop singing and tell me that,
God, you really miss me.
If I go
home and bump into you, cradle my face in both your hands and ask me if I miss
you. Just hug me so tight as if trying to melt my bones off. Never let me go
till I give you an answer. Kiss me in my forehead and smile a little. Don’t
force me nor intimidate me to be with you, instead convince me that being with
you will be the most logical reason I’ll ever make. Persuade me that you have
matured now and have realized your fault, that you’ve waited for so long for me
to come back.
If I go
home and bump into you, ask me to meet your mother. Tell me that you’re dead
serious this time and there will be no letting go. Give me the ring that you
kept for so long, hoping that when I think of coming back, you can finally slid
it into my finger and tag me as yours. Tell me that you’re more than willing to
woo me again if needed to, that I’ll be worth the sacrifice of being a fool to
win me back again.
But if
I go home and bump into you and you stare into my eyes, I’ll ask you, “Excuse
me, sir, do I know you?” You’re a total stranger to me now. I will weep not
because I recognize a love that I’ve lost somehow but because you frightens me
big time. You scare my whole being. Do not try to make me remember you. I
don’t. I won’t.
But if
I go home and bump into you and you grab my waist and lift me in the air, I’ll
assure you, you’ll see yourself in the police station. I’ll accuse you of
assault and sexual harassment for spanking me on my butt. If you tell that this
is not a dream, yes, this is not. This is the worst nightmare I’ll ever have. I
didn’t come home to be fooled once more. You should know that.
But if
I go home and bump into you and you try to take my luggage, I won’t give it to
you. Who are you to just barge into my life? You do not have control over me
anymore, not again, not ever. See, I’m a different woman now – tougher,
smarter, numb.
But if
I go home and bump into you and you inquire as to what my life has been like,
shut up. I won’t answer you. We’re not close. When you congratulate ma about me
my master’s and ask me about me poems, I’ll walk fast. I hate stalkers. I’ve
had enough of them.
But if
I go home and bump into you and you want me to take to the refreshment store we
frequented before, you pig! I’m big time now. My taste has improved a lot and
eating on old restaurants with old acquaintances isn’t my cup of tea. Do not
remind of that silly past. That has long been buried six feet under. If you’ll
say sorry for being the pig that you are, I’ll say thank you for I was able to
explore life in a more mature approach. I’ve learned that we do not insist
ourselves to people who don’t save spaces for you.
But if
I go home and bump into you and you cradle my face in your hands, duh, back off.
You’re so gross. I spend a fortune going to the salon for my facials and I won’t
let some guy from my old hometown touch my face like we’re dear comrades. Don’t
dare touch me; you’re like rust that will surely ruin my day. You’re a plague I’m
thankful I was able to get rid of in my past. If I’ll ever choose to be with
you again, maybe I’m drunk or on weeds. Yes, you may have matured, but I have
learned my lessons. I hardly forget, you know that.
But if
I go home and bump into you and you ask me to see your mother, I have other
things to do. If you insist to take my hand and slid a ring on my finger,
tahdahh!! Surprise!! I already have a ring on. There’s no space for a new one.
Wooing me again will be for nothing. See, I have found a new man, a better man.
You’re totally making a fool of yourself. Wake up! You don’t fit into my world,
really.
And by
the way, I didn’t come home to just bump into you. Have I forgotten to tell you
that my wedding will be next week? You’re invited if you’re free. See yahh…
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