22.0
Taaaadaaaahhhhh!!!! Come on, let's party in the USA!!! (or maybe just Metrowalk will do.. :p)
It was that last Monday that I marked my 22nd year of existence. Thanks to Facebook that a lot greeted me and posted on my timeline, you know, the usual "HBD." How convenient greeting people can get these days, huh. I think the word best suited for this is "lunacy in its most subtle ways." Whatever.
After this 22 years, what have I really become?? I asked this myself and I can't answer it and it kinda freaked me out for a moment. I know I'm still young. Tell me I'm old and you'll see your face in the trash can, dare me.. haha.. Well, the same old cliche still applies, that there's still a long road for me to wander. But then I want to challenge this cliche, can you really measure one's road, or how long is still left for that person to wander?? Isn't it none of your business?? Think again pal.
Anyway, undoubtedly, undeniably, inevitably, and unfortunately, I have become a 22-year-old pathetic. I dream so high that the kite I fly can't reach it. I aspire so hard that I forget the reality. I set standards so extreme that I always find myself tumbling trying to reach it. I always have that "who cares" attitude. I've become a come-what-may person. Crazy. Super crazy.
As I look back, I always think, had I continued schooling, I would be in my third year in law school now or better yet I'm about to finish my master's in creative writing. Had I not be that coward, maybe I had published some of my poems and short stories by now. Had I not been so afraid of self-perceived rejection, maybe I've already attended a fair share of writing workshops and now almost halfway to my dream of becoming a writer.
But that has all been left in my wildest hallucinations. I work, I've learned to love my work, and I ended up hating my work. What a paradigm. I just wake up one day feeling that I am somehow trapped in this maze at work that I so much wanted to break free. I assessed myself, maybe this is just an impulsive thinking or me being purely immature and childish. But no, I really wanna QUIT this time. I know my worth and I know I deserve so much than this. Shame on them for making me feel like I'm being used and exploited.
At 22, yeah, I'm confident. I'm not easily shaken by a loud voice nor a domineering personality. I don't get intimidated in just a stare. I've learned to somehow play my cards and discovered my strengths. But my weaknesses is another story. I'm a thinker and not a doer. That's it. I'm 65 percent idealist and 35 percent realist. And worst of all, I can't get away from my old self that is so dependent to my siblings. Yeah, guilty as charged. Pakkk!!!
Am I happy at 22?? Of course. And I super thank God for all of this and everything that's yet to come. I want to requote that old mantra that "there's a perfect timing for everything." Who knows how tomorrow will unfold? At 22, I'm a firm believer that I CAN, I WILL, I DO. Just let me have daydreaming as my past time. I guess that would be a habit that I can't outgrow.
And oh lastly, before I forget, on my 22nd year here on earth, he didn't greet me a happy birthday. Ouch to my ego. Ouch to my wishful thinking. Are we done? I don't know. Wherever you are, just hide there and don't dare "make paramdam" to me. You pig!!!haha.. (yeah, I'm so bitter).
Happy 22nd to me!!!
:))
It was that last Monday that I marked my 22nd year of existence. Thanks to Facebook that a lot greeted me and posted on my timeline, you know, the usual "HBD." How convenient greeting people can get these days, huh. I think the word best suited for this is "lunacy in its most subtle ways." Whatever.
After this 22 years, what have I really become?? I asked this myself and I can't answer it and it kinda freaked me out for a moment. I know I'm still young. Tell me I'm old and you'll see your face in the trash can, dare me.. haha.. Well, the same old cliche still applies, that there's still a long road for me to wander. But then I want to challenge this cliche, can you really measure one's road, or how long is still left for that person to wander?? Isn't it none of your business?? Think again pal.
Anyway, undoubtedly, undeniably, inevitably, and unfortunately, I have become a 22-year-old pathetic. I dream so high that the kite I fly can't reach it. I aspire so hard that I forget the reality. I set standards so extreme that I always find myself tumbling trying to reach it. I always have that "who cares" attitude. I've become a come-what-may person. Crazy. Super crazy.
As I look back, I always think, had I continued schooling, I would be in my third year in law school now or better yet I'm about to finish my master's in creative writing. Had I not be that coward, maybe I had published some of my poems and short stories by now. Had I not been so afraid of self-perceived rejection, maybe I've already attended a fair share of writing workshops and now almost halfway to my dream of becoming a writer.
But that has all been left in my wildest hallucinations. I work, I've learned to love my work, and I ended up hating my work. What a paradigm. I just wake up one day feeling that I am somehow trapped in this maze at work that I so much wanted to break free. I assessed myself, maybe this is just an impulsive thinking or me being purely immature and childish. But no, I really wanna QUIT this time. I know my worth and I know I deserve so much than this. Shame on them for making me feel like I'm being used and exploited.
At 22, yeah, I'm confident. I'm not easily shaken by a loud voice nor a domineering personality. I don't get intimidated in just a stare. I've learned to somehow play my cards and discovered my strengths. But my weaknesses is another story. I'm a thinker and not a doer. That's it. I'm 65 percent idealist and 35 percent realist. And worst of all, I can't get away from my old self that is so dependent to my siblings. Yeah, guilty as charged. Pakkk!!!
Am I happy at 22?? Of course. And I super thank God for all of this and everything that's yet to come. I want to requote that old mantra that "there's a perfect timing for everything." Who knows how tomorrow will unfold? At 22, I'm a firm believer that I CAN, I WILL, I DO. Just let me have daydreaming as my past time. I guess that would be a habit that I can't outgrow.
And oh lastly, before I forget, on my 22nd year here on earth, he didn't greet me a happy birthday. Ouch to my ego. Ouch to my wishful thinking. Are we done? I don't know. Wherever you are, just hide there and don't dare "make paramdam" to me. You pig!!!haha.. (yeah, I'm so bitter).
Happy 22nd to me!!!
:))
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