First Choice vs. Second Choice

Oh, yeah. I super admit it. I'm like your phone's ring tone  ringing and ringing for the nth time, to the point of  extreme irritation, then you have managed to get used to it till you decided to just bang me on the wall. Yeah, I could be that  repetitious, insistent, immature, pushy, and so forth. Who cares!!! Deal with it.

Yesterday, I was really working on a tough file. It's really lengthy that I ended up bored to death. I was like just hitting some keys on the keyboard so that it looks like I'm working.. Yeah, boy.  You can't do anything with the Internet in office, thanks to them that they blocked FB and other cool sites. But anyway, boasting aside, miraculously and surprisingly, I was still able to reach my target.. Clap clap to that.. Considering that I was daydreaming most of the time, duh,,, how good can I get???haha.. I'm a master in my craft, don't you think??? Really, boasting aside.. :)

Anyway, what was I daydreaming about?? Of course, same old dreams. People close to me are well aware that PolSci was only my second choice in college. Yeah, I admit it, when I was in third year high school and my sisters were asking what I want to study in college, I said I want to be lawyer. So that says it all. But then come fourth year, OMG, no, I really want to be a writer. I remember my classmates feeling so surprised when I wrote that in our yearbook, you know, instead of being a lawyer.

Do I have a thing in writing? I firmly believe so, and those few who have read my pieces can surely attest to that. I'm into fiction and poetry, not into what I call "old men's work", those complicated and hard to understand with heavy themes and topics literature. After that Polsci thing, I said maybe it's time to pursue my first choice. But then, first choice has been so elusive to me. How can I catch you???

But it dawned to me just yesterday that law school isn't really that bad. I mean, I don't think I can super do it, but it challenges me big time. Dealing every day with cases and other legal stuff at work, it helps me be more interested with my second choice. Conflict of interest, huh??

With that plan of moving to Baguio and all that, and pursuing my studies there (well, how convenient to say), to also think that no school there offers a master's in creative writing, my mind is slowly getting used to the thought that maybe I'm destined to always do the second choice.

Choices...

Well, we all have that, for sure. It can go on a list. Some are realistic, a lot are just a product of our wildest hallucinations. You know, we put some choices on our list with the thinking that "malay mo matupad to o mangyari to, e sinong ginaling?? At least nasa choices, di ba??"

Well, then, to deal with facts, in real life, the top three choices -- being in the "top" -- they are likely to be in priority. That's grade 4 common sense. But the truest fact, and I don't think and I don't care if you'll agree, the second choice is the best choice. In putting something on the top of the list, your thinking is always clouded with idealism. Your first choice is what you want to be, period. Your second choice is what you can be. See the difference?? Your second choice is the product of realism, that's why.

Therefore, well, I can't conclude. It doesn't mean that upon this realization, I'm already changing priorities. I still stick me my first choice. As idealist as I may seem, be it. E kung maging writer ako, sinong ginaling??


PS.
Up to this point, going to school is still a huge question mark. God, help me please. When will I win the lotto?? :))

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